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Chris Griffin
'Christopher Cross "Chris" Griffin''' is the middle child of the Griffin family . He is 13 in the first three seasons, and declared 14 in "Trading Places". He appears to have only aged a year in the course of the show in spite of Meg aging three. In The Real Live Griffins, he is replaced by Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Fifteen Minutes of Shame". Chris is voiced by Seth Green. However, he had not been hired until after the original Pilot Pitch. For that, series creator Seth MacFarlane provided Chris's voice, giving his voice a deeper tone as compared to how Green does it. Personality Though Chris is not the brightest one in the family, he is particularly coherent and makes a good point when talking about movies with Carl. Chris deals with the problems that most pubescent boys face: acne, girls, and school. Chris has been known to feel self-conscious about himself, especially his weight. In fact, on the Volume 1 DVD Boxset, it stated that Chris "wouldn't hurt a fly, unless it landed on his hot dog". He was referred to as an "Elephant Child" when he was born. Chris is also willing to do something as drastic as to convert to Judaism order to do better in school, specifically math. He once believed his low grades in mathematics were caused by himself when he tickled his brain by sticking an army man's rifle into his nose and accidentally puncturing a lobe. Chris both enjoys and excels at drawing and once almost managed to become a famous artist in New York, but failed when he refused to estrange his family. Chris, like his father, is obese, has a low IQ, and little to no common sense; however in "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High" Brian refers to Chris's class as intelligent before going to teach remedial English. Also, various story lines give him autistic savant talents, such as artistic ability, and detailed knowledge of film and TV actors. Both he and Peter have also demonstrated proficiency in the use of American Sign Language. Occasionally he exhibits unexpected, uncharacteristic insights, such as when he gives Peter and Lois a detailed and articulate lecture on the effects and disadvantages of marijuana. He has also demonstrated an ability to quickly adapt to new cultural surroundings. For example, when the family moved to London, England in "Patriot Games", Chris was the only member of the family who was able to quickly learn and speak cockney English. Chris is usually depicted as naive to the point of blamelessness. However, when Peter and Lois were having a fist fight in "Lethal Weapons", Chris cheered for Peter, telling him to "kick her ass!" Also, in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, when Lois and Peter are trying to make out, the children mistake it for a fight and Chris says "I don't know what they're fighting about, but I think Dad's winning. Go Dad!" In a running gag, Chris is regularly tormented by an evil monkey who lives in his closet but they cleared there differences shortly before the monkey moved to Jake Tucker's closet in "Hannah Banana". In "Emission Impossible", it is revealed that Chris was born as an accident, due to a broken condom. As a result, Peter and Lois filed a lawsuit against the company and bought the house they currently live in. In "Peter's Daughter", Lois revealed that she smoked and drank a lot when she was pregnant with Chris to try and incite a miscarriage, but chickened out halfway through the pregnancy. This may be the explanation for Chris' stupidity and other anomalies. Also, it is known in "And the Wiener is..." that Chris possesses an abnormally large penis. While Chris is better treated than Meg, he is usually more subjected to Peter's thoughtlessness, since Peter frequently neglects Chris in favor of other children or himself, and often accuses Chris of being "needy." Unlike Peter, Chris also doesn't seem to dislike Meg as much, merely having a rather extreme sibling-rivalry relationship and at times, treats her very well . Chris is generally mild-mannered and friendly, but is often rude to others when angered, such as in "Long John Peter", when he both insulted Joe Swanson for his handicapped status, and hit Brian with a chair just to go back to the vet and see a girl who broke up with him. Another example was in "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)", when Brian just came back after being dumped by Jillian, Chris said, "Welcome home, asshole!" In "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein", Chris almost converted to Judaism after Peter told him that Jews are smarter and more successful. Lois came to Chris's bar mitzvah to end the conversion, and a crowd of angry Jews chased after them. However, in "Family Goy", he would find out that he was already Jewish. Family Relationships Chris has the closest relationship with his father Peter Griffin. However, in "The Son Also Draws" and "If I'm Dyin', I'm Lyin'" he seems a bit afraid that he doesn't live up to his father's expectations. He and Peter enjoy competing, even though Chris almost always loses to his dad. In "He's Too Sexy for His Fat", Chris seems more upset with his father than other episodes, due to Peter getting much more physically fit compared to the fat Chris. In a few episodes including those listed above, Peter does seem disappointed or ignorant to Chris. Chris seems attracted to his own mother in several episodes. In Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, he even seems turned on to a lesbian conversation his mother has with him. In "E. Peterbus Unum", he also passes Meg a note in their home school that he thinks "Mrs. Griffin" is hot and in "Model Misbehavior" where he says that he'll masturbate to pictures of her. In "Bigfat", he kissed Lois, declaring that he didn't want to live by society's rules. In early seasons, Chris has a sibling rivalry with his older sister Meg Griffin, which Peter and Lois often get frequently annoyed of. Later on, however, he and Meg seem to start bonding, which Meg seems to like. In other episodes, such as "Stew-Roids", their rivalry is brought up again. Chris seems to be the only member of the family besides Brian who is completely aware of Stewie being an evil genius. Despite this, Chris seems to enjoy Stewie's company, although he is often the guinea pig to Stewie's experiments although he usually doesn't know it. Chris is often shown to be hostile toward Brian. in "North by North Quahog", he even yells at Brian and tells him that he has no soul which seems to upset Brian. In "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High", he gets angry at Brian who is at the time, his substitute teacher for giving him an "F", then eggs his house with Peter despite the fact that they live together. In "Untitled Griffin Family History", he yells out that he hates Brian, and in "Movin' Out (Brian's Song)", he openly calls Brian an "Asshole" for no reason other than to make fun of him with the other members of the family. In "Long John Peter", he also hits Brian with a chair which gives Brian two black eyes, several broken bones, and bends his nose to the right just so he can bring him to the vet to see his ex-girlfriend. Although he seems to care a bit for Brian. Sexuality While possessing incomplete-at-best sexual knowledge. In "Love Thy Trophy", Chris is convinced babies come from the Child Welfare Office. In several episodes, he demonstrates a compelling interest in girls such as in "To Love and Die in Dixie", Chris shows a romantic interest in a girl named Barbara. Later in the episode when he and his family are exiled to the South, he meets and befriends a person named Sam, who later kisses him despite being a boy. Confused about the kiss, he confronts Sam, who's revealed to be a girl dressed in guy clothes. After talking to Sam, Chris feels opened enough to express his feelings for her. He felt nervous about talking to her, she suggested to him that he should pretend she was a male, and Chris happily agrees to making out. In "You May Now Kiss the...Uh...Guy Who Receives", he is attracted to a student named Alyssa, who is a young Republican. Chris becomes a Young Republican because Alyssa offers to let him touch her breasts. In "Jungle Love", Chris runs away to South America to escape the bullying at school and joins the Peace Corps. He gets the entire tribe, whom he's staying with, to dance. By doing this Chris married the Chief's daughter, Loka although he had to leave her behind at the insistence of his parents and after he reveals himself to be a freshman in high school. In "Long John Peter" Chris falls in love with a vet intern named Anna, who he asks out. Their relationship goes well until Chris follows Peter's advice to put her down on a date to make progress, but Anna breaks up with him instead. At the end of the episode, they kiss and get back together. He is often harassed by his neighbor, Herbert, an elderly pedohebephile http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=186#. However, Chris always seems to evade Herbert's advances. In "Play It Again, Brian", Chris finally confronts Herbert by blatantly asking him "Are you a pedophile?" In "Running Mates", "E. Peterbus Unum", and "Model Misbehavior", Chris describes his mother Lois as sexually attractive. In "FOX-y Lady", Chris defended Meg's position on Handi-Quacks by saying that "she's kinda hot". Chris also comments openly about masturbation in several gags in "Running Mates", "The Fat Guy Strangler" and "Barely Legal". However, in "Holy Crap", grandfather Francis Griffin accuses Chris of masturbating when he was really just defecating by telling him that was he was doing in the bathroom was morally wrong and God can see it. He spends the rest of the episode holding in his waste until Peter lets him "defy" his grandfather. In "And the Wiener is...", it is discovered that Chris has a bigger penis than Peter. When Chris and Peter are in a sauna, Peter asks Chris whats wrong with his leg, only to figure out himself and say "Oh my God that's not your leg!" Chris is known to masturbate on Thursdays, according to "Barely Legal". Connie DiMico, a girl Meg's age, who is the self-described "most popular girl" at James Woods Regional High School, asks Chris out in "Stew-Roids". She does so under the premise that she had already exhausted her dating relationships with all the popular boys and now, left with just the "unpopular" boys, promises to convert him into a suave, popular student. Connie had intended the relationship to be temporary, but she and Chris quickly hit it off and become a serious couple. At a party at the Griffins' house that weekend, Chris breaks off the relationship, having found interest in two other girls he had been kissing and unwittingly teaching Connie a lesson in dating others simply to further her own status. Fears He was tormented by the Evil Monkey that used to live in his closet, but now become friends in "Hannah Banana". He is also in the habit of fearing seniors due to their history of paddling him. He even has nightmares of how Meg killed his other sister. Relatives See: List of Griffin and Pewterschmidt ancestors, Griffin Family Notes *Chris' full name, Christopher Cross Griffin, is an homage to the singer-songwriter who goes by the same name. *Chris' birthday is February 8th as according to "German Guy", which is also Seth Green's birthday. *He is the only Griffin not playable in the Family Guy video game. *Chris is the only blond in the Griffin Family. *In The Cleveland Show episode "Our Gang" Chris appears in a gag very similar to "Brian Goes Back to College". He falls through the ceiling of Cleveland's house and says "Hi Cleveland." and Cleveland replies "Go back to Quahog." and he says "OK.". *According to Lois in "Emission Impossible", she and Peter were using a condom the night he was conceived, but it broke, they were also able to sue the company, which got them their house. *He, along with Stewie, are the only ones who haven't been put in prison yet. *He was called an elephant child in a newspaper article in "He's Too Sexy for His Fat" when he was born due to his enormous size. *Chris masturbates frequently as a running gag on the show culminating in "German Guy" when Lois became concerned that the washing machine was pregnant from cleaning Chris' blankets. In "Barely Legal" he explained that he masturbates every Thursday. In "New Kidney in Town", Peter states that Red Bull is strong stuff and we see Chris' penis on fire implying he drank Red-Bull too, and masturbated so fast enough to burn him. *When Joe starts to look for new friends after Peter, Mort and Quagmire burn down Goldman's Pharmacy in "Burning Down the Bayit", Peter notes the Chris is a bit scared of Joe as he thinks of him as a Transformer that broke halfway through. Category:Characters Category:Family Guy universe